Smaller than a mustard seed.

As some of you know, my hubby and I are church planters.  We have been trying to plant a church where we live for the past four years.  Year one was great….had a lot of people coming.  But then a few people moved away and we have been just struggling to stay alive for the past year or so.

This year we decided that we needed to up our anty a little more, get on the ball, do lots of outreach…even if it’s just my hubby, Big E and I.  For this Sunday we decided to do a 10 foot banana split sundae.  We did this in our other church we were pastoring in New Brunswick and everybody loved it…so we thought…”hey why  not try it here?”

We tried it over the summer with some block parties that we did and it always went over well.  So this past Thursday we decided to go put out posters on the telephone poles around town advertising that we were having “The Best Sunday Ever!” and having a 10 foot long ice cream sundae.

Well Friday and Saturday it rained pretty much so we really didn’t know what would happen on Sunday when we arrived at church.  To be honest….I wasn’t really expecting a whole lot.  The past year has been a very disappointing year for us.  We have been let down, discouraged and frustrated beyond belief.  We thought doors were opening and then they slammed in our face.  Things just weren’t going according to our plan and we thought God had shut some doors.

Well…things aren’t supposed to go according to “our” plan are they?

Last night I was sitting in my chair thinking…”I really don’t want to go to church tomorrow.  It’s going to be discouraging.  Nobody is going to show up.  We have people coming to sing and nobody will be there…and that’s just embarassing.”

My faith was small.  Smaller than a mustard seed.  So small that you probably wouldn’t be able to see it under a microscope.  I was defeated.  I was ready to give up, throw in the towl….and walk away.

We went to church this morning.  10:00 came…we started church with 10 people.  Better than four…but I could feel that our crew was discouraged.  Then about 10:15 four more people showed up…and then at 10:30 eight others showed up.  So we had 22!  This is great news!!  It’s been a long time since we had 22.

I was excited…but quick to remind myself that I should have believed God would do big things in the first place.  I felt like a little kid who got scolded because my faith was so small….non existant really.

God is bigger than my faith…. THANK GOODNESS!  He can do things….only He can make things happen.  Only He knows the future.  Maybe our church won’t take off this year…(i’m hoping, praying and having faith that it does!) but at least we reached people today that may not have even heard about God before today.

Now….that’s worth more than any number in church attendance.

Praise God!

Laura

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Discouraged…but choosing joy!

Today was a discouraging day.

Really discouraging.

My hubby and I are church planters.  We just finished our first full year as a church plant and are heading into our second year.  As it is with any church, attendance tends to dwindle during the summer.  Consider the summer months and the fact that there was a run going on today and most people would have to walk a bit to church we weren’t expecting that many to come today..but we were still hoping for a few.

10:30 came and there was three of us.  You all may be saying well that’s good…that’s three more than nothing..but well….the three were: my hubby, myself and Little E.

So…we decided to worship God anyway.  We sang, we taught Little E a Bible Story and hubby and I watched a Rob Bell video and then discussed it.  We kept our head up and we continued on as usual..but let me tell you…it was kind of depressing.

We talked about how we can do things differently, different things we can try and some of our “mistakes” we have made…then packed up our stuff and headed on home.  Both still feeling very discouraged…but determined.  Determined to not let this get us down.  Determined to carry on.  Determined to not give up.

However, I’m ashamed to say it, I was still feeling pretty discouraged..pretty crappy.  So I went and had a nap.  Hubby and Little E went kayaking and we had a pretty relaxing  Sunday afternoon.

After supper we decided to head down to the boardwalk to go for a family walk.  Little E just wanted to go play on the playground so we headed on over and not a single soul was around.  Hubby and I played with Little E like we were little children again and we had a blast!  On the way back to the car there was a man with a guitar sitting on the boardwalk  playing a song.  Little E IMMEDIATELY went over and started dancing.   There was a whole bunch of older people sitting on the boardwalk listening to this man sing and thought Little E was just hilarious dancing.  He was having so much fun that we just sat back and let him do his thing.

Eventually when we got back to the car and were heading home we asked Little E what his favourite part of the day was…and without hesitation the first thing he said was “church” and then he said and the second thing was “dancing on the boardwalk”.

So here I was feeling pretty discouraged all day because there were only three of us at church this morning and Little E said it was the best part of his day.  Maybe it was because he got to sing with daddy.  Or maybe it was because both mommy and daddy taught him a Bible story, or just maybe it was because he had our undivided attention.  I don’t know, but whatever the reason was my little boy  had fun and it was the best part of his day.

After that I looked back on the day and focused on all the good things that happened throughout it instead of just looking at the negative aspect and I have to say: I had a pretty fantastic day too.  I got to spend time with Jesus in the morning, also dancing with my little boy, spent some good quality time with the hubs and just had a great time playing with my family tonight.

Remember how I talked about gitzengirl in my last post?  Well she has a saying that she “chooses joy”…in the midst of all the struggles that she has.  So, I have decided that for today..instead of being discouraged…I am going to choose joy.

Come to think of it..I guess that’s kind of what my blog is about anyway.  I try to find the blessings in every day….so in a way I guess I”m always finding joy.

What are your blessings today??  Or, how have you found joy?

Blessings:  Spending a great day with my family..and seeing life through the eyes of my child.

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