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Archive for April, 2013

Sleep

“Mommy…will you snuggle with me tonight?”

Such a simple question but yet at the end of the night I’m selfish.  I want to sit back, put my feet  up and relax.  Usually I say….”Not tonight honey.”

Why?  I have no idea!  I should be treasuring these moments and snuggling right in.

However, one night the question was asked again: “Mommy, will you snuggle with me tonight?”  And I answered, “Sure will!”

So I snuggled in.  We talked about his day…the fun  he had and we just shared some silly stories.  He snuggled in really close.  Gave me a million kisses and told me he loved me over and over again.  After a bit I began to think that he wouldn’t go to sleep.  So I told him he had to lay down or that mommy would have to leave so he could get some sleep.

Well he didn’t want any of that.  So he snuggled in closer, put his arm over my back (just for reassurance that I wasn’t leaving him) and told me he loved me once again.  I kisses his little cheek and told him I loved him back.

We layed there listening to his cd.  The one he’s listened to since he was a baby.  He doesn’t complain about it…doesn’t ask me to change it to something a bit older…so we listen.

We listen, and slowly I see his eyes start to get heavy.

I watch him…listen to him breathe.  I close my eyes.

I open them a little later to see that he’s fighting hard to keep his eyes opened.  Closing them every once in a while…and opening them quickly.

Just to make sure I’m still there.

For security maybe, but just to know that his momma loves him.  Just to know that I’m there and not leaving as soon as he falls asleep.

He closes his eyes again and I watch him.

Watch as his little face becomes soft.  Listen as his breathing gets steadier.

I close my eyes to take in everything.

I open them up a few minutes later only to see him taking a quick peek again.

I rest my arm over his back and hold him a bit closer.

Finally I hear the steady sound of sleep….a deep sleep.  A sleep that won’t be disturbed if I get up and leave.

I’m free to go do my selfish things.  Free to go relax.  Free to do what I want to do.

However, I can’t move.

I’m transfixed watching this miracle beside me breathe.  Watching his face..wondering what he’s thinking and can’t remember anything else that might have been important fifteen minutes ago.

Next time…I won’t be so quick to say no.

Laura

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A little crochet project I”m working on.

coffeecozy

I’m making them and selling them.  You, too, can have one for $5.00 plus shipping.  Check out my facebook page at
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Out-of-the-Loop/588844904478674

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