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Posts Tagged ‘love’

I Can’t Imagine….

A normal morning in our house consists of waking up at 7:00…crawling out of bed shortly after that.  Getting ready for the day by having showers, getting breakfast for Little E and then getting dressed.  On Mondays and Thursdays Little E goes to preschool,  so those mornings are usually a little more busy.  I feel like I’m constantly running around making sure all is ready….making sure he eats, brushes his teeth, gets dressed (including not putting his underwear on his head and running around the  house naked, yelling “NAKED TIME”.

True story.

Then about 8:00 Little E and daddy head out for the day.  I give my little man a kiss on the cheek, a hug, and then a kiss on the hand…which he then puts up to his cheek to remind him the whole day at school that mommy loves him.  (That adapted from this book here:  The Kissing Hand )

I tell him Good-bye, that I love him and to have a great day at preschool and to make sure to make some new friends.

I simply cannot imagine that being that last time I ever see my child alive.

I can’t imagine him not coming home…bouncing all over the house and telling me about his day.  Who he played with, what he had for lunch, what he saw on his walk.

I can’t imagine his laughter not in this house.

I can’t imagine the bathroom not being soaked with water because of his playtime in the bathtub.

I can’t imagine not hearing his stories, or seeing his art on the wall.

I can’t imagine not being able to hear “Mom, I need a hug!”

I can’t imagine having all these things bought for him for Christmas and knowing that he will not get to unwrap any of them, or being able to see the joy on his face while he does.

I simply can’t imagine, and I hope I never have to go through that.

But, for all those families that lost their children in the shooting in Connecticut it’s too real of a situation for them.  It’s not a dream, it’s a nightmare…one that they won’t wake up from.  The sorrow that they must be feeling must be so overwhelming.  The hurt must be extreme and the feeling of “I wasn’t able to keep my child safe, or I wasn’t there for them when they really needed me” must be anguishing.

I can’t imagine.

I am one of those people who, in a situation like this, thinks things through.  I think of what those parents must be feeling and the grief and the sorrow overwhelm me.  I don’t want to send my little boy to school in the fall thinking that I may be sending him off to school one day only to never see him again.

However, if I think like that then I have to also think along the lines of: “I can’t take my child to the mall, to the movie theatre, to church…anywhere.  Might as well just sit home all day.”  The stress of the world gets overwhelming and can crush you if you let it.

Truth be told there really isn’t much we can do to keep our children safe.  We can pray and we can hope that an act of violence such as this won’t claim us as victims.  It’s so easy to say “Put your trust in God”…but it’s really harder to do than that.  We all know that we have to do it, but us humans like to control things and then there are still no guarantees that things like this won’t happen.

So, for now I have no real answers.  However, I do have some actions that I can take on my part.  I will always always always tell Little E that he means the world to me, that I love him, that he will always be with me no matter what.  I will try not to stress about the little things..like whether or not his shirt is on backwards, or him not listening to me after I have said asked him to do something multiple times.

I will just simply be his mom.  I will try to bestow on him the same vows that I gave my husband eleven years ago:  “I will love you and cheerish you, in good times and in bad.”  I will love him with every ounce of love that is in me.  I will pray circles around him and I will try my best to keep him as safe as he can.  It’s what every mother does every day without even thinking of it.  Just in times like this these simple little actions seem to mean a whole lot more.

So for today and always, go hug your little ones, your big ones and your in between ones.  Not only hug them, let them know that they are loved to infiinty and beyond.

Laura

Blessing: My family is safe….safe and loved beyond measure.

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Today was a CRAZY day!

It started off at 6:30 when Little E woke up.  I knew he wouldn’t go back to sleep as he was coughing and I couldn’t really get him to read in his room as his Aunt Kaka (yes that’s her name) was sleeping in there as well.

So hubby got up to take the dog out and spent the  morning cuddling with Little E until I rolled out of bed.

I’m telling you…men do not know how to be quiet in the mornings…so even though I was still in bed, I was awake.

Thus,  not starting my day off the best.

I got up grumpy.   UH OH!  A mother/woman should never wake up grumpy cause everybody just pays.

Then the kids started rolling in.  I had to read little miss E her breakfast…which I normally don’t mind doing but Wednesdays are my crazy days as I usually have a house full of children.  Feeding her breakfast takes a good twenty minutes….but having to run into the living room to watch and make sure the other children are being good makes feeding her breakfast almost a forty minute ordeal.

After I was done feeding her and all four children were nestled in the living room I looked over by the patio doors and noticed that Little E’s cup was on the floor with the cover off.  Our puppy got at it.  Normally this wouldn’t bother me..BUT there was orange juice in that cup…thus there was orange juice all over my freshly cleaned living room floor.  UGH!

Smoke was starting to come out of my ears.

Cleaned it up…went out to the kitchen…came back and realized the puppy dog had peed on the floor.  UGH!

Cleaned it up…..then some crying began.  Two kids had run into each other and bumped heads.  UGH!

My coffee was cold. UGGH!  (gross)

Snack time came.  Dog tried to eat some of the kids food.  Little E kept whining (remember he was up early).  The phone was ringing and I was trying my best to get coupons off the internet while the kids were having their snack.

Oh did I mention that it was raining out?  Normally that doesn’t bother me cause I love the rain…just not on a Wednesday when I have many kids….and they can’t run off their energy outside.

Next cue puppy…had to go out and use the bathroom.  After he did that I went to get him to come back in and he decided to run laps around the yard while I’m chasing him in the rain.  He thought it was a game..I did not.  However the neighbours probably had a good laugh.

Next is lunch time….lunch time starts at 11:30 for little miss E as I try to get her fed before the rest.  Lunch time ended at 12:45…..clean up ended at 1:30.

Little E and his friend wanted to play moon dough.  We’ve had it before and I swear I would never ever ever ever ever ever use it again or give it as a present…however Little E got it for his birthday and wanted to play it.  So opened it we did.

MESS!…but he had fun.

Cue little Miss E leaving after her nap ended and enter in two after school boys.  (The most relaxing part of my day as Little E loves it when they come).

It may not sound hectic but it was and probably 110% more than normal because I was tired and grumpy.

So at the end of the night when we were putting little E down to bed he asked if daddy could snuggle with him.  I told him that daddy had other stuff to do but mommy was going to.  He was so excited!  It’s not something I do on a regular basis, basically because usually by 7:30 I’m tired and if I lay down I’ll fall asleep.

However, this time I thought…”you know…I’ve been grumpy all day, short tempered and short with him…I’m going to take this time and just be with him.”  We snuggled and he asked me to sing him to sleep so I did and he fell right to sleep after about 10 minutes.

My grumpy mood?  VANISHED the instant I laid down with him.  He’s not going to ask me to do that when he’s 15 (at least he better not) so I’ll take the opportunity now and I’m glad I did.  🙂

Glad I got my LOVE in.

Laura

Blessing:  I got a TON of great stuff in my mail today.  (I was trying to think of something else than what I wrote above)

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Did you know???

I’ve kinda been slacking a bit on the adoption plug for this month on the blog….but it’s not because I forgot….just simply trying to get some information together.

I was checking out some websites earlier and came across a staggering statistic:

“Latest figures from the Adoption Council of Canada (ACC) say that child welfare organizations care for nearly 80,000 Canadian children. Of these, about 30,000 are legally free for adoption, but languish in temporary foster homes. The majority are aged 6 and older.” Taken from: http://www.familyhelper.net/news/100805-30,000incare.html   This was for 2010.

Don’t you think that’s crazy????  I mean as in a sad crazy way!  😦  There really shouldn’t be that many children in our foster care system when people like me and hubby want to adopt.  But there is…and you know why?  In my humble opinion I believe it’s because more and more couples want to adopt a baby.   They say that they don’t want the emotional, physical or mental problems that come with children out of foster care.

I know…cause I’m one of them.  We have Little E so I keep telling myself that if we adopt again we need to be very careful of all the above things.  I don’t want to damage him or have problems come into this house that may be too big to handle.  Which….are really legitimate concerns….but the problems lies when I don’t do my research or I don’t call the number and even attempt at finding out more information.

Cause here’s the thing:  Just because a child is in foster care does NOT mean that they will have all the above problems.  They may be in for a totally different reason…and let’s just face it:  Every child needs love.  They really really do.  So…what’s holding me back from making that call?

This reason…and this reason alone:  I still want to be pregnant.

I don’t think that’s an unreasonable expectation.  There is nothing saying that I can’t get pregnant…it just hasn’t happened yet.  In fact, I have finally started up the specialist appointments again and will be going for my first one in Nova Scotia next Thursday on the 17th…hoping that this doctor can do something that other’s couldn’t.

BUT!  In the meantime..I’m going to bring up this subject of adopting a child in foster care again with hubby.  We talked about it at one point but thought we had better try for the pregnancy first.  However, time is getting short…and I would love for Little E to have a brother or a sister…whether older or younger.

If you are thinking about adopting…please just check out that site above and this site as well:  http://www.adoption.ca/AboutAdoption.html

If you decide that maybe adopting from foster care is your option…then call the number and at least get the information packet.

Let’s give some of these children back the love that they deserve.

Laura

Totally unrelated blessing:   I got my floors cleaned today!!!!

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I have already shared this picture of my Mother’s Day gift on Facebook but if you haven’t seen it then I want to show you why I couldn’t wait for the mail to come each day.  I have been waiting for this precious gift now since the beginning of May.

I love love love love love love love love LOVE it.

Some of you have been asking where I got it from so here it is.

As mentioned yesterday, I follow this AMAZING, WONDERFUL and FUNNY blog entitled Following In My Shoes (Click the link to check out Rachel’s awesome blog).  One of Rachel’s posts were about this review that she was doing for a website called: The Vintage Pearl . I checked out her great review about this product and how much she raved about it.  I put in my name for a draw to win a necklace from there with high hopes and fingers crossed.

Sadly I didn’t win.  😦

But…I was not to be deterred.  I checked out the website and quickly came across the Moon necklace up above and thought… “This is what I want for Mother’s Day”.  I quickly told Hubs about it and showed him what one I wanted.  He also thought it was a good deal.  So we decided that for my Mother’s Day gift and my birthday gift combined that I could get this as it was a little bit pricey for just a Mother’s Day gift.

So I kept looking at it…kept dreaming and I waited.

Yup!  You heard that right…I waited!  If you know me then you know that I have a teeny tiny itsy bitsy problem with waiting.  (Insert sarcasm tone here)

SIGH.  I really wanted it.

Finally…my waiting paid off.  May came and hubs told me I could order it if I still wanted it.

I went back to the moon design and chose how I wanted Little E’s name written on it.

You can also trade in the small pearl for a birthstone or whatever else you want put on there..but I loved the pearl!  It’s ohhh so pretty! 🙂

The reason why I picked the Moon “I love you to the moon and back” is because of a long time thing that Little E and I have going.  We talk to the man on the moon when we see him out. We have even named him Larry and Little E gets soooo excited to see him.  Now when Little E sees this necklace he knows that the moon is named Larry and he quickly points that out when he sees it.

See the Post on Larry the moon by clicking on the highlighted link.

So I put in the order…picked out what I wanted…then read that I had to WAIT 2 weeks as they made it…before they shipped it.

UGGGH….this waiting is horrible..but I knew it was going to be oh so nice once I got it so I endured the waiting.

Then Canada Post started talking about a postal strike and all I could think was “Please please please let my parcel arrive  before they go on strike here.”

Finally this week it came and I love it so much!!!  It’s the perfect length.  (You can pick which length of necklace you want) and it just turned out WONDERFUL.

So please check out The Vintage Pearl and see what they have to offer.  I guarantee you won’t be disappointed!!!

~ Laura

Blessing: My necklace…pretty obvious…even if it a material thing.

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To love like my sister in law.

That is my greatest spiritual wish.

My sister in law, Kate, has the biggest heart that is so easily and readily available to love people.  She can make friends at the drop of the hat and people are just naturally drawn to her because of the love that she has for everybody.  She can walk up to just about anybody and talk to them and have them drawn into a conversation in no time.  She is confident in herself and best of all…she isn’t fake.  She’s real, open, and true to herself.  Because of this, people just flock to her.  She has so many friends and I don’t think I have heard a negative word spoken about her.   How awesome is that?!  I want to be like that!

Do you know where she gets it from?

Jesus!

Jesus loves people unconditionally.  He doesn’t prejudge, talk about people behind their backs or make fun of them.  He loves them with all of His heart for they are  His children.  So therefore it shouldn’t be any shocker that the second greatest commandment is to “Love your neighbour as yourself”.  Think about that for a minute.   We wouldn’t talk about ourselves  behind our backs, make fun of ourselves or judge ourselves…or we wouldn’t want others to be doing that to us…so why should we do it to others?

I think the key to loving others as Jesus loves them, though, comes from the first and greatest commandment “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37-40).  If we truly love God with everything that we have in us like the scripture says then it should be easy to love others right?  Well..maybe easy isn’t the word (after all we are human)…but I think it should come a little more natural to us.

So, in truth my greatest spiritual wish isn’t to be more like my sister-in-law it’s to be more like Jesus.  But I think it’s pretty cool that I can see Jesus that clearly through her.  I think that’s something worth striving for.

Laura

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