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Posts Tagged ‘infertility’

I have written this before but I wanted to put it on my blog so that other people can read it.

We adopted our son, Elijah, on May 18th, 2008.  That’s his birthday.  He was in our arms when he was about five minutes old.  I’ll never forget the day…and I LOVE to share it with whomever I can.  He’s our gift.  Our blessing.  Our miracle.  When I have a stressful day I think of all the days that were stressful before he was born and realize that my life is way to blessed to be stressed.

My husband was the assistant pastor at a church in New Brunswick, Canada for six years.  During that time he ran the youth group.  We had many teens pass through and met a lot of great friends through that…even with the parents.

Kevin (my husband) and I, at this time, were married for seven years.  Five of those seven years we tried to conceive a child…with no luck.  I remember telling people at a youth rally that we took some teens on that we were going to start a family and that I just couldn’t wait to be pregnant!!  I thought for sure the next month that I was going to be pregnant.  I had a dream towards the end of the month where I truly felt God telling me that I wasn’t pregnant…so when I received my period I was sad…but a little prepared.

However, months and months kept going by and no baby in my belly.  😦  We went to our doctor who told us that basically they don’t recommend specialist until we have been trying a year…especially at our young age.  So…with heavy but determined hearts we kept on trying or a  baby….and the months turned into a year.  We went back to our doctor who recommended a specialist in a city about an hour away.

We were excited to go to our first meeting with the specialist…who sent my hubby to a specialist to make sure things were ok there.  To make a long story short Kevin had to have day surgery but after that we were assured that things were much better in that department and that so far there was nothing physically wrong with us having kids.

So we were ready to try again.  Months went by again…and no results.  Honestly at this stage I was more discouraged than before.  It took me almost a whole year to go back to the specialist again…but we did.  She did a test on me and then put me on Chlomid…(a fertility drug).  She told me to try it for three months.  So I tried it for two…and nothing.  I decided to wait on the third month because she said they didn’t need to be taken consecutively.  Also at this time my hubby had resigned as the youth pastor at the church and we knew that things would be up in the air with moving to a new place and trying to sell ours.  So we decided to wait.

Through this all I begged and pleaded with God to allow me to be pregnant.  I so desperately wanted to know what it felt to have a baby inside of me, kicking…moving.  I wanted to have weird cravings…I wanted to have a baby bump.  Hubby and I cried together…still nothing.

That all changed the end of March, first of April, 2008.  I was sitting in hubby’s office at the church playing games doing some research on the computer when there was a knock on the door.  A man by the name of John (a father of one of the teens we had in the youth group) was asking where Kevin was.  I told him he was at home working on the house.  John said ok…and I didn’t even think anything more of it.

About an hour later my hubby comes in the office and locks the door.  I’ll never forget what he said next.  He said “I have to tell you something that could possibly change our lives forever”.  He then proceeded to tell me that John knew of a family who’s daughter was pregnant and she wanted to give her baby up for adoption.  He had recommended us and said that she was very serious about her decision.  Kevin then proceeded to tell me that I couldn’t tell anybody at all for right now.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT WAS FOR ME?

I went over to my best friends house and didn’t say a word.  I felt like I was going to die…I just had to tell somebody.  I told her the next day and told her not to tell my hubby as I didn’t want to get in trouble.  I remember her words: “Were you not going to tell me?”…and I replied…”well Kevin told me not to!” I’m sure she was thinking…”when has that ever stopped you”.

We called John back later that night just to make sure everything was legit and he set up a meeting with us and the parents of the girl and the girl herself.

OH I remember that day so well.  I barely slept a wink the night before.  We were in the midst of renovating our house…getting it ready to sell and we were up all night cleaning.  I remember sitting down with her and her parents and the conversations we had…the questions that were asked. I had asked her when her due date was and she said that she thought towards the end of May but the doctors thought the beginning of June.  My immediate reaction was wow…we don’t have a lot of time here.  But then something calmed me inside saying “It’s ok..I’ll take care of it…trust in Me.”  I remember praying with them…and then at the end them saying well we have another couple that we are going to meet with and we will let you know in a week.

THE. LONGEST. WEEK. OF. MY. LIFE!  LONGEST!

I couldn’t concentrate at work….I just wanted to know.  I’m not a very patient person and I know God was using this to show me that patience and resting in Him is a good thing.

Towards the end of the week my best friend called and said that her husband had just talked to the father of the girl.  (We had given their name as references) and she said he seemed pretty hopeful.  We were at another couple’s house playing games and I just couldn’t concentrate.  We told them what was going on…asking them to keep it quiet but to excuse us as we had to go back and clean our house to get ready for our meeting with the family the next day.  I barely slept a wink that night as well.  I remember Kevin telling me not to show my excitement too much and not to get my hopes up because nothing is a done deal yet.

The next day they showed up and the girl (Elijah’s birth mom) told us that she had chosen us and that she knew even before leaving our driveway that we were the right family for her child.  LOL.  I remember sitting there…trying not to show my emotions…and thinking to myself. “THIS IS JUST CRAZY!”…and I said “We are so excited”.  Lol.  I think they thought we weren’t because we were trying so hard not to let our emotions show.

We called our families and told them the good news.  I remember telling my dad that he was going to be a grandfather..and him just crying.

Fast Forward a few weeks….and a few hardships.

On Sunday, May 18th, we were awoken by my cell phone ringing just around seven in the morning.  It was the birth mother’s mom calling us to say that the birth mother was in labour and that they were heading to the hospital. She also said that they were going to go to the local hospital as she wasn’t going to make it to the city hospital in time as her daughter was six cm’s dilated.  This was a huge blessing to us as the local  hospital put us in our own room.  The city hospital we would have had to pay for it or stay at a local hotel…and I wasn’t going to do that after waiting five years.

I said to the grandmother “Ok…we’ll be there”…and I remember her saying “Ok well don’t get there before us!”. (I think they wanted time with their grandchild before they had to give him to us).  The next little bit was just like I was in a movie.  I remember getting out of bed and getting the diaper bag ready…taking out bottles..putting in outfits…basically repacking the whole bag..while on pure adrenaline.  I remember that I couldn’t find any socks…looked for them everywhere..and thinking that there was no way that the hospital was going to let me go in there with just sandals.  I finally found some socks and then I couldn’t find my sneakers.  So I took off my socks and put my sandals on.  I did this about two times before I finally found my sneakers and put them back on.

I called my best friend and told her that “he was on his way”…calling other relatives..texting on our way to the hospital.  We got there and I told Kevin to bring the diaper bag in..and I remember him saying “no we have plenty of time..I’ll run back out and get it later”.  (The diaper bag had our camera in it).  We went to the waiting room.  Kevin pacing…me texting.  Finally we get a call on Kevin’s cell phone.  It was the birth mother’s father asking us where we were.  We told him that we were at the hospital waiting for them to arrive.  He said that they were already there and that the baby was there! He was born at 7:39 AM.  Yup..not a lot of time.

So guess what happened next?

Yup…I made hubby run back out to the car and get the diaper bag.  I really wanted my camera!

We then walked down the hallway and met our son for the first time.  I’ll never forget holding him and looking into his eyes for the first time.  What a huge blessing has just been bestowed on me and I wasn’t even ready for it…well ready for it to come today and in this form!  🙂

I remember calling my mom and waking her up.  I had called earlier..but I guess my brother didn’t enjoy being woken up at 7 in the morning on a Sunday and didn’t bother to tell her that we were heading to the hospital.  Elijah cried when I started talking to my mom and I remember her saying “OH! A baby!”.

I remember my best friend calling me and asking me what I needed and me telling her I needed formula and wipes.  She went to the store and waited till the manager came up (he went to our church) to open it.  He told her it wasn’t opened yet..and she said “Well Kevin and Laura just became parents and I need to get them some things”.  He said “well by all means come on in!” (or something like that).

We had to be in the hospital for four days.  Not because anything was wrong with Elijah but because of legal stuff and him being born on a holiday (normally we would have had to be in there for three days).  We had many visitors…friends..family.  Everybody was there celebrating with us.  It was great!

The birth mom had to come in and sign off on things the last day we were there and she sent (with her parents) a basket of stuff that she had put together for him..all of which we still have.  She has been the biggest blessing to us.  Without her we wouldn’t have our son. I am so thankful for her and her selfless decision and thank God for her everyday.  We have a relationship with her and her parents.  We try to get together to visit at least once a year.  We send them cards, pictures and they send Elijah presents.  We don’t deny him seeing them…we never wanted it that way.  They are his birth mother and grandparents and he is their biological son and grandchild.

We love that time we have with them and we feel it brings us closer as a family.  I’m glad God brought us together.

And Baby makes three – a family!

Now…I would love to have another little miracle again this year…through pregnancy or adoption…doesn’t matter to me.  I know God is big enough to take care of it…and I’m praying that He will!  Trusting in Him.

Laura

My favourite picture.

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