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Posts Tagged ‘private adoption’

I have one more guest post to share with you on adoption.  I know it’s not November anymore but I think you will still like it anyway.

Hubby and I had the pleasure of talking to Ben  & Sarah and sharing similar stories about children maybe about 5 years ago on a stormy cold day waiting for a plane to take us to Florida.  🙂  Sarah was one of the first people I told about us adopting Little E as I knew she would be so overjoyed for us.  Not only was she overjoyed but God has something planned for them as well as us.  Who would have thought!!!

Here’s their story as told by Sarah.  You can check out her blog at http://canneyland.wordpress.com/

If I had been given a child when I wanted one, he/she would be around 5 years of age now and would be in school.  He/she would have a younger sibling around age 3 and another one around age 1.  That was how things would have gone according to MY plan, and although the thought of having three children under foot right now sometimes makes me wistful, it in no way makes me want to change what God had planned.  If I had been given what I wanted, when I wanted it, I wouldn’t have James.  I wouldn’t have grown in Christ the way I did.  I wouldn’t have connected with other women who have shared in the sorrow and the joy of what I have lived.  I wouldn’t have understood what it is like for young women who have unplanned pregnancies. I wouldn’t be writing this post.

When my husband Ben and I decided to have children after 2 years of marriage, we just assumed we wouldn’t have complications.  Perhaps it would take us up to a year to get pregnant, but that was common, so there was nothing to worry about when month after month went by and I wasn’t preggo.  There was a lot to be frustrated about though, and my frustrations soon turned to bitterness as time passed.  Why wasn’t I getting pregnant?  I thought I had done everything “right,” so why wasn’t it my turn to be blessed with a baby?

We went through various tests, but it was the laproscopic surgery that determined I had severe endometriosis.  What was suppose to be a simple cyst which would be easily removed, turned out to be a disease that destroyed my left tube and bent my right tube, making the ability for me to get pregnant very slim.  Being highly recommended for in vitro, my husband and I believed that instead of investing the $10-$15,000 for a procedure that might work, we’d go with International Adoption.

During this emotional roller coaster ride I began blogging, and in doing so began to connect with other women.  I suddenly began to stop seeing the women who were pregnant, and began to see those who weren’t.  I wasn’t alone.  God also used someone to help me see my barrenness as a gift.  It sounds crazy, but in accepting my barrenness, I found healing.  I began to see that there was a purpose for my pain, and if it meant praying more earnestly for those in my situation and rejoicing when their babies were brought home, it was worth it.

Things for the International Adoption were coasting along.  After much prayer and consideration we decided on Ethiopia through an agency called Imagine Adoption.  Money began coming in that we hadn’t even asked for, and soon our Provincial home study was complete (costing $2000), and we had paid $1500 to the adoption agency.  We were about ready to send in some more money since all of our paperwork was finished, when the unthinkable happened.  The agency went bankrupt. In an instant, our dream of Ethiopia was gone. We were devastated.

Then a week later I received two phone calls that changed my life.  One was from a woman who said she had been fasting and praying for us and that recently the Lord told her we were going to be blessed with a child in the coming year.  I thanked her, but my heart was very guarded.  Within 2 hours I received another phone call from a woman telling me that someone was in her office who had a daughter that was pregnant.  The daughter wanted to give her baby up for adoption to a Christian couple.  Would we be interested?  I couldn’t believe it.

Nearly 9 months later – after having developed a relationship with a remarkable young lady who chose us to adopt her son, after having been to doctor’s appointments and seeing ultrasounds, I was in the hospital room with the biological mother of my son, hearing his cries for the first time.  Even now it seems like a dream.  Not only did I get to see James being born, but I got to name him, be with him in the hospital, and best of all, bring him home with me.  I will always be grateful to his biological mom, whom I still have a wonderful relationship with.  Another neat thing is that James looks like my husband.

I know my son is adopted, but I don’t think of him as being adopted.  I love him as my own flesh and blood, perhaps even more because of the “labour pains” I had to go through before I could be his mom. I’m praying that he’ll have a brother or sister someday, and I continue to count every day with him a blessing.

“Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own.  Never forget for a single minute, you didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.”

*****

If you have an adoption story and want to share it give me a shout at hegivesgrace@gmail.com  (This can be either you adopting or maybe even giving your baby up for adoption…or even the process of adoption you are going through now)

Laura

Much thanks to Kirk & Kim and Ben & Sarah for sharing their stories!!

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I put out a request last month asking for people to write to me and send me their adoption story.  I don’t know about you but I love hearing other people’s stories of how they adopted their child(ren).

I asked my best friend, Kim, to share with us her adoption story and she graciously agreed to.  She has two adoption stories.  I’ll share the first one with you tonight and the second on Thursday…so make sure you come back and check it out!

Here’s Kim & Kirk’s story:

My husband and I were married in October of 1991. We decided to start trying to have children in 1993. And in the Spring of 1995, we found out that short of a miracle it would never happen for us. We were devastated! The whole time I was growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a Mommy. Whenever I was asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” That was my answer. So what was God doing here? He surely knew I wanted to be a Mommy! We know He doesn’t make mistakes, so we just had to wait on Him.

We decided to put our name on the provincial adoption list knowing it could take up to 10 years. But God had a different plan for us in the meantime! In the late Spring of 1996, we got a phone call. My friend was calling to tell me that a friend, whom we both knew, was pregnant, and wanted to know if we would be willing to adopt the baby.  Our answer was a definite YES!!! But she was way across the country in British Columbia, and we were here in New Brunswick. Could this even work? Could God work this out?

We checked into everything…the laws, private adoption, EVERYTHING! And it looked like we could go to B.C. when he was born and bring him home here to N.B. with us. But there were some complications.

When she went in for a routine ultrasound, she found out she had ovarian cancer. Were it not for her pregnancy, she may not have found out as early as she did. But this also got her thinking she may want to keep the baby. We just prayed…and hoped!

On my birthday, July 23rd, 1996, we got a call from her saying that she had made up her mind…the baby was ours…a baby boy! What a birthday gift! He was due on November 4th. So we got busy, getting ready for our new little one.

My friend immediately started treatment for her cancer, so she was quite sick most of the pregnancy. But we kept praying for her and the life of our unborn son.

September 11th we got a call late in the evening, as the time difference is 4 hours, to tell us that our son had been born 8 weeks early due to complications. We were scared to death. It was too late to call anyone, so we just prayed. The next morning I hopped on a plane to take me to B.C., for an unknown amount of time. We did not know if he would live or die. 8 weeks is very early.

When I got there, he was already almost 2 days old. He was 4 lbs 7 oz when he was born, but had gone down to 4 lbs 3 oz by the time I got there. He was the most adorable little boy I had ever seen. He had dark hair, and was so tiny! He could not breathe on his own, nor could he eat. So he had a respirator and IV hooked up to him. His incubator was an open one, so you could touch him if you could find a spot without tubes to touch! I was very scared.

I also went to visit my friend, who was going to get stronger treatment now that the baby was born, and she was doing better. She was so glad that I came so the baby would not be alone! She gave the most precious gift anyone could ever give! I can never repay her.

After a week or so, he had improved enough to be in a regular incubator without the respirator or IV, he now had a feeding tube down to his tummy to feed him. And I could hold him more now too! :o)

He was in the hospital a total of 3 weeks. When we left the hospital he weighed a whopping 5 lbs. The very next day we flew together back across the country to N.B. Daddy was so excited to meet his son!  We got back on October 3rd.

And you know what? That is not all…turns out the laws were changing…God had it all worked out after all. November 1st the laws changed in B.C. saying that we would NOT have been able to go get him, he would have had to come to us with his birth mom. YUP! God had it all worked out ahead of time! Had he been born “on time” then things would have turned out totally different!

******

Hope you enjoyed!  Tune in on Thursday and catch the second part of Kim & Kirk’s story!

Laura

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