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Archive for January, 2011

 

It has finally happened.

I have waited for it for so long!!!

Elijah said those four little words that I have been longing, aching, and hoping to hear.

He said:

I am so proud…my heart swells.

The other day we were having morning snuggles before our day started and Elijah leaned over to daddy and said “I love you dad!”

I gasped.

Hubby looked at me and said “Are you ok?”

I said (with almost tears in my eyes) “that’s the first time he’s said that”.  Up until this moment I had been anxiously awaiting for him to say these words all on his own.  Sure, he’s said them after we have…but it wasn’t the same.

Hubby (who apparently has no heart…none at all) looks at me and said “No, he’s said that to me before.  He said it to me over Christmas vacation.”

Mortified I was!

How could my child (the one I feed, bathe, clean, play with) tell his daddy that he loves  him before he tells me???  How dare he!  🙂

I pretended I had something in my eye and went to the bathroom to compose myself.

Hehe well it wasn’t really that bad…ok maybe it was.  🙂

BUT today….today it was my turn!!!!

Those four simple words have filled my day with such joy.  I can give daddy back his moment and keep my treasured and tucked inside my heart forever.  🙂

Ahhh…it feels good to be loved.

Laura

Ps…my husband was not harmed during any of this process 🙂

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My hubby is wonderful!

My husband is changing jobs…and so therefore this week he took off to catch up on some odd jobs that he was working on for himself.  He finished all those jobs yesterday so today he had the day to spend it at home with us.

Being the good wife that I am..I ALLOWED let my wonderful husband sleep in today.  This, I’m sure, was not an easy task as I was babysitting two children and taking care of Elijah at the same time…all two and under.  But, he did it.

Then he came out and asked Elijah if he wanted to go out to the music store with him today as well as Home Depot.  Elijah was ecstatic!  We rarely get out of the house throughout the week as hubby has the car and I’m sure not going to drag four kids out on the town with me… 🙂

So what am I doing right now?

I’m sitting in a quiet house.  The two that I  babysit are having a nap and my child is out with his daddy.

Life is good right now.  My hubby is wonderful.  (Not just for this gesture…but this does help) 🙂

I am going to go relax and watch something on TV that doesn’t have the words: Toopy, Mickey or Elmo in the title.  🙂

Have a great weekend everybody!

Laura

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I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE public bathrooms.

So much so that when I was in elementary school / high school I would make sure I used the bathroom before I left home and would not use the bathroom at all at school until I got home at 3:30.

Most times I made it through the day ok…but boy oh boy on those days when I waited to use the bathroom when I got home I’m sure the neighbours had a good laugh.

I would get off the bus (which didn’t stop very far from my house)…and I would walk a little bit, then crouch down and pretend to tie my shoe..while in the meantime trying my best not to use the bathroom on the side of the road. On these days it would take me a good 10 minutes to get from the bus stop to the inside of my house where I would make a quick dash to the bathroom. I’m sure the neighbours thought..oh that poor girl has a bladder problem. Hahaha. Nope..just a public bathroom problem.

It’s not just the simple fact that most times they are unclean…but a list of several other reasons. Let’s explore them shall we.

1) The stupid crack in the door! Seriously! Do you know what I mean? The crack where the door hinges on to the stall. Could they not make hinges that were smaller so there were no cracks in the door? If I can see out of the crack….then that means that people can see INTO the crack in the door…which means: THEY CAN SEE ME! I don’t like that…hate it…will avoid it at all costs. Even on the other side..I don’t want to see some old person using the bathroom…stupid cracks (no pun intended)

2) People who bang on the doors! If the door is locked or even closed..you don’t have to kick it or bang on it..just lightly touch it to see if it opens…if it doesn’t..then WALK AWAY! Most times this scares me..and then I lose all concentration.

3). Little kids. Ok..if you are a parent and you have to go to the bathroom..and you have to take your child with you..that’s fine. I understand that. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE watch your child while your using the bathroom and don’t let them crawl under the bathroom stall into my stall! UGGH How embarrassing is that? I don’t want some little kid coming into my stall and saying at the top of their lungs: “Mommy that girl is pooping”. Control your children…and someday when I’m in that position I will control my child as well.

4) The echo: Ok…we all know that most public bathrooms have the echo..which means that there is no privacy if you are not feeling good and have to let loose. I don’t like this..but most times there is nothing I can do about it. But I feel so bad for those people that are not feeling good and I hear them. Most times I even say a prayer for them that they won’t be embarrassed.

5) Those bathrooms that are only one bathroom in them but the door is like 2 yards from the toilet…and the door only has the push button lock. Whoever invented this contraption must be SHOT! I once was using the bathroom in Woodstock in the mall…and it was one of those times I wasn’t feeling very well…so was taking my time making sure I was done. Outside the door people kept knocking and I kindly told them that it was occupied. I could hear one kid out there and I knew he was getting impatient so he jiggled the door. Guess what happened?? Yup…the lock came unlocked…I quickly raced to the door and shut it and said in a not so nice voice: IT’S LOCKED FOR A REASON! I have not used that bathroom again…it has traumatized me.

6) Back to big public bathrooms: I hate those stupid air dryer things! Ok I know they are earth friendly and all but seriously…do they really dry your hands???? No! All they do is push the water from the top of your hands to the bottom of your hands…and down your sleeves. It’s so much easier just to wipe your hands on your pants.

7) I get really excited when there are paper towels dispensers in the bathroom. I understand trying to be earth friendly so instead of taking the legendary wad of 10..I only take 2 paper towels and wipe my hands. But I hate it when I get all excited to see the paper towel dispenser and then quickly realize that it’s EMPTY. Somebody’s not doing their paper towel dispensing job!!!

8) Soap. Don’t get me wrong soap is good..obviously…but whoever thought of putting the soap at the other end of the line of 5 sinks was not thinking! We all know that girl’s bathrooms are usually full. So why would i want to leave my purse or whatever on the counter and walk about 10 miles to get the soap and come back, dripping water all along the way, to the sink to wash my hands. I do..but I don’t like it.

9) Earth friendly sinks. I’m all for earth friendly..but come on! I never know how to use these things. I stick my hand under the faucet…waiting for the water to turn on…and it never does. So i do a little dance with my hands in front of the faucet…still no water. I step back..and then up to the faucet again, still nothing. I look to see if there is some button to hit to turn the water on…nothing. Finally I just decide to stand there and wait for somebody else to come show me how to do it. Somebody comes..they have no idea either. We are both looking like idiots…we look at the sink trying to pretend that we both know what we are doing…which we don’t. Then as if the sink knows it has won…it turns on all by itself. SINK VICTORY.

10) Toilet paper. I once went to a bathroom where the toilet paper came out of the dispenser one square at a time. I was there for an hour…haha no but it seemed to take forever (getting the toilet paper out of the dispenser that is)

11) Automatic flushing. Some toilets work great…other times you just change positions and they will flush..spraying cold water mist at you. Or other times they won’t flush at all. You get up…you say to the toilet..”Ok I’m done now..you can flush”..it doesn’t. You say “Ok…I’m really leaving now..please flush”. It still doesn’t. You look at the toilet to see if there is something you need to push to flush it. There isn’t. You pretend to sit down and get up again…just to make sure the toilet realizes that you are finished (cause maybe it didn’t understand it before)…it still doesn’t flush. Finally you just surrender..say to yourself “I hope the next person that comes in doesn’t see me going out of this stall”…and then the toilet flushes as you open the door. Phew…crisis diverted.

12) Doors that don’t lock. There should be a job for a stall lock inspector. They can just come around to make sure that the locks are working or not broken. Obviously not while people are in the stalls. I hate when the locks don’t work. Then you are in the bathroom (trying not to touch the toilet of course) and trying to put one foot or hand on the door…preferably foot because who cares if germs get on your shoe. This usually either ends up which you either falling in the toilet or letting the door fly open. Not a good combination if both happen at same time.

13) Public washrooms that have a washroom designated for a disabled person.  Wait…don’t send me hate mail. I like those but I really don’t get it when you go to the sink and there is no sink for a person in a wheelchair to use.  All of them are  the same height…none that are lower..and there is no way that they can reach the soap either.  That’s just wrong!  And if I notice it then how must those people in a wheelchair feel if they can’t reach it?  Companies think of everybody!

Well…there are some of my ramblings…I’m sure there are more…and will add them if I encounter them. But those are the reasons why I hate public bathrooms and will avoid them at all costs.

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I don’t like change.

I’m not talking about the loose coins in my pocket (or lack thereof). No, I mean the change of my regular routine, the thought of something new.

I don’t exactly know when this happened.  When I was a little girl I loved changing my room around, putting things in new places and such, but now if hubby asks me to move the couch in a different direction I just can’t do it!  Can’t.  Won’t even think about it.  Don’t want to!!!

My epiphany came to me tonight as I was in Zumba (a Latin dance fitness class).  Usually my friend and I go to Zumba on Tuesday and Thursday nights (this used to be Monday and Wednesdays last year…THEY CHANGED IT…something I also had to get used to) at 7 PM.  My friend is a nurse so sometimes we can’t make it to those classes because she is working.  I usually go with her because I don’t like going by myself..but that’s a whole other issue for another time.  (Maybe I need to go see a therapist lol). So we decided to check out this class in our neighbourhood that happens Monday nights at 7:30.  Tonight was our first night.  It’s held in a much smaller facility and has new people..which means people I’m not used to being around and also people can see me now that we are in a smaller place.

I decided to give it a try anyway.

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

TOOO MUCH CHANGE ALL AT ONCE = NOT GOOD FOR LAURA!

Oh not good.

The instructor was great but she never explained the steps ahead of time.  Which normally would have been fine if we were doing the same steps as the ones we do on Tuesday & Thursday nights.  However, they weren’t the same steps at all…but completely different..oh so different.  I have to see something happen about twice before I could catch on and so by the time I caught on to this ballet/dance type of Zumba the moves changed.  I just felt like I couldn’t catch up and I wanted to do the songs the way I had done them in my other Zumba class.

I had fun though.  I laughed at myself…got a fairly decent workout…but I won’t go back unless my friend begs me. She said she had a great time and would go again..but you know why I couldn’t enjoy it?  Because it was CHANGE and it was way too much!  Half way through I just kinda gave up and focused on getting the songs over with so that I could go home.  I tried not to have a horrible attitude but I just couldn’t deal with all of this new stuff all at once.

You know what the funny thing is?  Change is always going to be a part of my lifestyle.  It’s a percentage of who I am as a pastor’s wife.  I have to be adaptable to change if we decide we need to move to another place or do something different with our lives someday.  I have to be adaptable to change if things don’t turn out my way.  I just have to be adaptable to change period!

Not all change is bad…oh no no no.  The change of going from a two person family to a three person family was AWESOME…hard..but so worth it.  I love living in this city…even though it was hard meeting new people. I’m sure there are other changes that have happened to that aren’t bad at all..but I don’t deal well with change that I can’t control. (At this moment I am having the light bulb moment that Dr. House has in each of his episodes.  I am perfecting the “stare” and the “ah ha!” moment as we speak)

So my challenge (and an ongoing one) besides the laughing more and being more loving is to try to adapt to change more.

Laura

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I have written this before but I wanted to put it on my blog so that other people can read it.

We adopted our son, Elijah, on May 18th, 2008.  That’s his birthday.  He was in our arms when he was about five minutes old.  I’ll never forget the day…and I LOVE to share it with whomever I can.  He’s our gift.  Our blessing.  Our miracle.  When I have a stressful day I think of all the days that were stressful before he was born and realize that my life is way to blessed to be stressed.

My husband was the assistant pastor at a church in New Brunswick, Canada for six years.  During that time he ran the youth group.  We had many teens pass through and met a lot of great friends through that…even with the parents.

Kevin (my husband) and I, at this time, were married for seven years.  Five of those seven years we tried to conceive a child…with no luck.  I remember telling people at a youth rally that we took some teens on that we were going to start a family and that I just couldn’t wait to be pregnant!!  I thought for sure the next month that I was going to be pregnant.  I had a dream towards the end of the month where I truly felt God telling me that I wasn’t pregnant…so when I received my period I was sad…but a little prepared.

However, months and months kept going by and no baby in my belly.  😦  We went to our doctor who told us that basically they don’t recommend specialist until we have been trying a year…especially at our young age.  So…with heavy but determined hearts we kept on trying or a  baby….and the months turned into a year.  We went back to our doctor who recommended a specialist in a city about an hour away.

We were excited to go to our first meeting with the specialist…who sent my hubby to a specialist to make sure things were ok there.  To make a long story short Kevin had to have day surgery but after that we were assured that things were much better in that department and that so far there was nothing physically wrong with us having kids.

So we were ready to try again.  Months went by again…and no results.  Honestly at this stage I was more discouraged than before.  It took me almost a whole year to go back to the specialist again…but we did.  She did a test on me and then put me on Chlomid…(a fertility drug).  She told me to try it for three months.  So I tried it for two…and nothing.  I decided to wait on the third month because she said they didn’t need to be taken consecutively.  Also at this time my hubby had resigned as the youth pastor at the church and we knew that things would be up in the air with moving to a new place and trying to sell ours.  So we decided to wait.

Through this all I begged and pleaded with God to allow me to be pregnant.  I so desperately wanted to know what it felt to have a baby inside of me, kicking…moving.  I wanted to have weird cravings…I wanted to have a baby bump.  Hubby and I cried together…still nothing.

That all changed the end of March, first of April, 2008.  I was sitting in hubby’s office at the church playing games doing some research on the computer when there was a knock on the door.  A man by the name of John (a father of one of the teens we had in the youth group) was asking where Kevin was.  I told him he was at home working on the house.  John said ok…and I didn’t even think anything more of it.

About an hour later my hubby comes in the office and locks the door.  I’ll never forget what he said next.  He said “I have to tell you something that could possibly change our lives forever”.  He then proceeded to tell me that John knew of a family who’s daughter was pregnant and she wanted to give her baby up for adoption.  He had recommended us and said that she was very serious about her decision.  Kevin then proceeded to tell me that I couldn’t tell anybody at all for right now.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT WAS FOR ME?

I went over to my best friends house and didn’t say a word.  I felt like I was going to die…I just had to tell somebody.  I told her the next day and told her not to tell my hubby as I didn’t want to get in trouble.  I remember her words: “Were you not going to tell me?”…and I replied…”well Kevin told me not to!” I’m sure she was thinking…”when has that ever stopped you”.

We called John back later that night just to make sure everything was legit and he set up a meeting with us and the parents of the girl and the girl herself.

OH I remember that day so well.  I barely slept a wink the night before.  We were in the midst of renovating our house…getting it ready to sell and we were up all night cleaning.  I remember sitting down with her and her parents and the conversations we had…the questions that were asked. I had asked her when her due date was and she said that she thought towards the end of May but the doctors thought the beginning of June.  My immediate reaction was wow…we don’t have a lot of time here.  But then something calmed me inside saying “It’s ok..I’ll take care of it…trust in Me.”  I remember praying with them…and then at the end them saying well we have another couple that we are going to meet with and we will let you know in a week.

THE. LONGEST. WEEK. OF. MY. LIFE!  LONGEST!

I couldn’t concentrate at work….I just wanted to know.  I’m not a very patient person and I know God was using this to show me that patience and resting in Him is a good thing.

Towards the end of the week my best friend called and said that her husband had just talked to the father of the girl.  (We had given their name as references) and she said he seemed pretty hopeful.  We were at another couple’s house playing games and I just couldn’t concentrate.  We told them what was going on…asking them to keep it quiet but to excuse us as we had to go back and clean our house to get ready for our meeting with the family the next day.  I barely slept a wink that night as well.  I remember Kevin telling me not to show my excitement too much and not to get my hopes up because nothing is a done deal yet.

The next day they showed up and the girl (Elijah’s birth mom) told us that she had chosen us and that she knew even before leaving our driveway that we were the right family for her child.  LOL.  I remember sitting there…trying not to show my emotions…and thinking to myself. “THIS IS JUST CRAZY!”…and I said “We are so excited”.  Lol.  I think they thought we weren’t because we were trying so hard not to let our emotions show.

We called our families and told them the good news.  I remember telling my dad that he was going to be a grandfather..and him just crying.

Fast Forward a few weeks….and a few hardships.

On Sunday, May 18th, we were awoken by my cell phone ringing just around seven in the morning.  It was the birth mother’s mom calling us to say that the birth mother was in labour and that they were heading to the hospital. She also said that they were going to go to the local hospital as she wasn’t going to make it to the city hospital in time as her daughter was six cm’s dilated.  This was a huge blessing to us as the local  hospital put us in our own room.  The city hospital we would have had to pay for it or stay at a local hotel…and I wasn’t going to do that after waiting five years.

I said to the grandmother “Ok…we’ll be there”…and I remember her saying “Ok well don’t get there before us!”. (I think they wanted time with their grandchild before they had to give him to us).  The next little bit was just like I was in a movie.  I remember getting out of bed and getting the diaper bag ready…taking out bottles..putting in outfits…basically repacking the whole bag..while on pure adrenaline.  I remember that I couldn’t find any socks…looked for them everywhere..and thinking that there was no way that the hospital was going to let me go in there with just sandals.  I finally found some socks and then I couldn’t find my sneakers.  So I took off my socks and put my sandals on.  I did this about two times before I finally found my sneakers and put them back on.

I called my best friend and told her that “he was on his way”…calling other relatives..texting on our way to the hospital.  We got there and I told Kevin to bring the diaper bag in..and I remember him saying “no we have plenty of time..I’ll run back out and get it later”.  (The diaper bag had our camera in it).  We went to the waiting room.  Kevin pacing…me texting.  Finally we get a call on Kevin’s cell phone.  It was the birth mother’s father asking us where we were.  We told him that we were at the hospital waiting for them to arrive.  He said that they were already there and that the baby was there! He was born at 7:39 AM.  Yup..not a lot of time.

So guess what happened next?

Yup…I made hubby run back out to the car and get the diaper bag.  I really wanted my camera!

We then walked down the hallway and met our son for the first time.  I’ll never forget holding him and looking into his eyes for the first time.  What a huge blessing has just been bestowed on me and I wasn’t even ready for it…well ready for it to come today and in this form!  🙂

I remember calling my mom and waking her up.  I had called earlier..but I guess my brother didn’t enjoy being woken up at 7 in the morning on a Sunday and didn’t bother to tell her that we were heading to the hospital.  Elijah cried when I started talking to my mom and I remember her saying “OH! A baby!”.

I remember my best friend calling me and asking me what I needed and me telling her I needed formula and wipes.  She went to the store and waited till the manager came up (he went to our church) to open it.  He told her it wasn’t opened yet..and she said “Well Kevin and Laura just became parents and I need to get them some things”.  He said “well by all means come on in!” (or something like that).

We had to be in the hospital for four days.  Not because anything was wrong with Elijah but because of legal stuff and him being born on a holiday (normally we would have had to be in there for three days).  We had many visitors…friends..family.  Everybody was there celebrating with us.  It was great!

The birth mom had to come in and sign off on things the last day we were there and she sent (with her parents) a basket of stuff that she had put together for him..all of which we still have.  She has been the biggest blessing to us.  Without her we wouldn’t have our son. I am so thankful for her and her selfless decision and thank God for her everyday.  We have a relationship with her and her parents.  We try to get together to visit at least once a year.  We send them cards, pictures and they send Elijah presents.  We don’t deny him seeing them…we never wanted it that way.  They are his birth mother and grandparents and he is their biological son and grandchild.

We love that time we have with them and we feel it brings us closer as a family.  I’m glad God brought us together.

And Baby makes three – a family!

Now…I would love to have another little miracle again this year…through pregnancy or adoption…doesn’t matter to me.  I know God is big enough to take care of it…and I’m praying that He will!  Trusting in Him.

Laura

My favourite picture.

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Laugh more!

I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchin Rubin.

I loved it!  I gained a lot of useful tips that I hope to incorporate into my own life (hopefully sooner than later).

A basic overview of the book is that Gretchin finds herself on the city bus thinking that her life isn’t happy.  Not that she’s depressed..but she thinks that she could be happier instead of going through the dull routine of life.

She takes a year to go through her happiness project, taking a month for something different and trying her best to really work on a “resolution”.  Not everything worked for her but she said in the end that she did feel happier.  She gives some practical advice that everybody can do if they just work on it.

It’s a good book.  It’s worthy of reading.

Anyway…must get to my point.

One of the things she focuses on is “learning to laugh more”.  One of the quotes in the book says this:

A small child typically laughs more than four hundred times a day…and an adult 17 times

This spoke VOLUMES to me!

How sad is it that our life goes from four hundred laughs to seventeen laughs.  Have we really lost that much joy in our lives? I know…we aren’t as innocent as we once were but come on!  That’s a significant drop!

She talked about how sometimes her child will tell her the same joke ten times in one morning.  Most of us have been there.  You get tired of hearing the same old joke over and over again and usually we just tell our children that they need to find a new joke or let’s move on to another topic.  She suggested laughing at your child’s joke.  Let them see your joy (even if it’s forced) and then watch them light up with joy because you acknowledged it.

Laughing makes people happier.  Let’s face it…with the world today we can definitely use more happiness.  So let’s laugh more!

I, for one, am going to implement this in my life (or try to).  I tried it tonight while giving my boy his bath.  He was having so much fun playing with his bath toys and laughing.  I decided to try this “laughing theory” out.  You know….it WORKED!

I usually hate giving him his baths and let my husband do it.  I only hate it because we give him his bath after supper and I would rather clean up the mess while daddy gives him his bath..plus I figure it’s bonding time for daddy and son since daddy is gone all day at work.  Today daddy was running late so I gave Elijah his bath.  I laughed with him, played with the toys with him and bath time was so much fun!  We were both happy (well..until he had to get out).

If you are in a bad mood it brings others down.  Laughing creates a good mood boost.

So.  I’m going to laugh more and see where it takes me.  Hopefully it will bring me more happiness.  Nothing wrong with that.  🙂

Here is a link to Gretchin’s Happiness Project page:

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/about.html

 

images used from Google images.

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To love like my sister in law.

That is my greatest spiritual wish.

My sister in law, Kate, has the biggest heart that is so easily and readily available to love people.  She can make friends at the drop of the hat and people are just naturally drawn to her because of the love that she has for everybody.  She can walk up to just about anybody and talk to them and have them drawn into a conversation in no time.  She is confident in herself and best of all…she isn’t fake.  She’s real, open, and true to herself.  Because of this, people just flock to her.  She has so many friends and I don’t think I have heard a negative word spoken about her.   How awesome is that?!  I want to be like that!

Do you know where she gets it from?

Jesus!

Jesus loves people unconditionally.  He doesn’t prejudge, talk about people behind their backs or make fun of them.  He loves them with all of His heart for they are  His children.  So therefore it shouldn’t be any shocker that the second greatest commandment is to “Love your neighbour as yourself”.  Think about that for a minute.   We wouldn’t talk about ourselves  behind our backs, make fun of ourselves or judge ourselves…or we wouldn’t want others to be doing that to us…so why should we do it to others?

I think the key to loving others as Jesus loves them, though, comes from the first and greatest commandment “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37-40).  If we truly love God with everything that we have in us like the scripture says then it should be easy to love others right?  Well..maybe easy isn’t the word (after all we are human)…but I think it should come a little more natural to us.

So, in truth my greatest spiritual wish isn’t to be more like my sister-in-law it’s to be more like Jesus.  But I think it’s pretty cool that I can see Jesus that clearly through her.  I think that’s something worth striving for.

Laura

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