Posts Tagged ‘Adoption’

It’s November and here we go again!

Did you know that November is:

Yup…it is.  It’s to make people more away of the need for adoption and the wonderfulness (I guess that’s a word…just thought I made it up) that it brings to a family.

You’ve heard me talk about it before.  Little E is adopted.  He is the joy of our lives.  His birth mother and family are an extended family to us.  We love them and enjoy spending time with them when we get to see them.  God has blessed us so much with this different view of family.

Even though we are VERY much content with our little family we are also wanting to water it, grow it and make it a little bigger.

We’ve been through various tests….won’t go into the long of it….however there is basically nothing saying that we can’t children biologically….the moons just have to align just right.  Or God has to provide a 85% miracle.  🙂  Pretty sure he can do both, but for right now we have decided that while we are waiting…we will move things a little in another direction and see where that takes us.

I’ve been putting this off for a while…not sure why, but I’ve decided that I can’t put it off any longer…and I figured since it was National Adoption month why not start now?

So last week I called the adoption “agency” here in Nova Scotia and told them that we are interested in adopting.  The first step is to take down some information and then they will call me back within ten days with more info and ask more questions.  From there we will go to another information meeting…then a meeting called PRIDE meeting..which usually takes about 9 weeks to finish (meetings are usually held on Saturdays or evenings from what I gather) and then they will do a homestudy.  Takes about a year from start to finish for all of that…so we figured that we should get the ball rolling.

We are fully aware that we will probably not get a baby…and that’s ok with us.  There are a lot of children out there that need a mommy and daddy…and hopefully God will grant us another miracle…either biologically or through adoption.

Either way…I”M EXCITED!

Please keep us in your prayers.


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I have one more guest post to share with you on adoption.  I know it’s not November anymore but I think you will still like it anyway.

Hubby and I had the pleasure of talking to Ben  & Sarah and sharing similar stories about children maybe about 5 years ago on a stormy cold day waiting for a plane to take us to Florida.  🙂  Sarah was one of the first people I told about us adopting Little E as I knew she would be so overjoyed for us.  Not only was she overjoyed but God has something planned for them as well as us.  Who would have thought!!!

Here’s their story as told by Sarah.  You can check out her blog at http://canneyland.wordpress.com/

If I had been given a child when I wanted one, he/she would be around 5 years of age now and would be in school.  He/she would have a younger sibling around age 3 and another one around age 1.  That was how things would have gone according to MY plan, and although the thought of having three children under foot right now sometimes makes me wistful, it in no way makes me want to change what God had planned.  If I had been given what I wanted, when I wanted it, I wouldn’t have James.  I wouldn’t have grown in Christ the way I did.  I wouldn’t have connected with other women who have shared in the sorrow and the joy of what I have lived.  I wouldn’t have understood what it is like for young women who have unplanned pregnancies. I wouldn’t be writing this post.

When my husband Ben and I decided to have children after 2 years of marriage, we just assumed we wouldn’t have complications.  Perhaps it would take us up to a year to get pregnant, but that was common, so there was nothing to worry about when month after month went by and I wasn’t preggo.  There was a lot to be frustrated about though, and my frustrations soon turned to bitterness as time passed.  Why wasn’t I getting pregnant?  I thought I had done everything “right,” so why wasn’t it my turn to be blessed with a baby?

We went through various tests, but it was the laproscopic surgery that determined I had severe endometriosis.  What was suppose to be a simple cyst which would be easily removed, turned out to be a disease that destroyed my left tube and bent my right tube, making the ability for me to get pregnant very slim.  Being highly recommended for in vitro, my husband and I believed that instead of investing the $10-$15,000 for a procedure that might work, we’d go with International Adoption.

During this emotional roller coaster ride I began blogging, and in doing so began to connect with other women.  I suddenly began to stop seeing the women who were pregnant, and began to see those who weren’t.  I wasn’t alone.  God also used someone to help me see my barrenness as a gift.  It sounds crazy, but in accepting my barrenness, I found healing.  I began to see that there was a purpose for my pain, and if it meant praying more earnestly for those in my situation and rejoicing when their babies were brought home, it was worth it.

Things for the International Adoption were coasting along.  After much prayer and consideration we decided on Ethiopia through an agency called Imagine Adoption.  Money began coming in that we hadn’t even asked for, and soon our Provincial home study was complete (costing $2000), and we had paid $1500 to the adoption agency.  We were about ready to send in some more money since all of our paperwork was finished, when the unthinkable happened.  The agency went bankrupt. In an instant, our dream of Ethiopia was gone. We were devastated.

Then a week later I received two phone calls that changed my life.  One was from a woman who said she had been fasting and praying for us and that recently the Lord told her we were going to be blessed with a child in the coming year.  I thanked her, but my heart was very guarded.  Within 2 hours I received another phone call from a woman telling me that someone was in her office who had a daughter that was pregnant.  The daughter wanted to give her baby up for adoption to a Christian couple.  Would we be interested?  I couldn’t believe it.

Nearly 9 months later – after having developed a relationship with a remarkable young lady who chose us to adopt her son, after having been to doctor’s appointments and seeing ultrasounds, I was in the hospital room with the biological mother of my son, hearing his cries for the first time.  Even now it seems like a dream.  Not only did I get to see James being born, but I got to name him, be with him in the hospital, and best of all, bring him home with me.  I will always be grateful to his biological mom, whom I still have a wonderful relationship with.  Another neat thing is that James looks like my husband.

I know my son is adopted, but I don’t think of him as being adopted.  I love him as my own flesh and blood, perhaps even more because of the “labour pains” I had to go through before I could be his mom. I’m praying that he’ll have a brother or sister someday, and I continue to count every day with him a blessing.

“Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own.  Never forget for a single minute, you didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.”


If you have an adoption story and want to share it give me a shout at hegivesgrace@gmail.com  (This can be either you adopting or maybe even giving your baby up for adoption…or even the process of adoption you are going through now)


Much thanks to Kirk & Kim and Ben & Sarah for sharing their stories!!

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As promised, here is the second half of Kim & Kirk’s adoption story.


This is not the end of our story. But I will skip ahead a few years. We were not one of the lucky ones…you know them…the ones who after they adopt…they get pregnant! We hoped, we had lots of people tell us it would happen….but it never did. Why? Why could some people who really didn’t want to be pregnant, get pregnant, and those of us who really wanted kids…could not???

Well…I guess because God had different plans. Our son had grown up with me babysitting, so he always had other children around to play with. But he always asked for a baby sister…because most of his friends had sisters. We continued praying for another child, but for years…nothing!

By 2007, 12 years after finding out we would not have children. We were beginning to give up. We sold a lot of our baby things in yard sales, and just decided that we would be happy with 1 child. But it wasn’t that easy because there was still that ache inside of me that really wanted another one. I don’t know if that ever goes away…it hasn’t yet!

The beginning of July, I was at Beulah Camp and Dr. Deneff was the speaker. I don’t remember what he was speaking on, but God brought it to my attention that I was angry with Him…yes I was mad at God. I was angry about not being able to get pregnant, about everyone else who could, I was mad for all the hurt, the tears, and disappointment. That day…a Thursday…I got right with God. I never told anyone for 11 days…and here is the reason why.

The next day, Friday July 13th…our daughter was born…unbeknownst to us. Yes the very next day! We went on with our business. Beulah Camp ended…and 10 days later…which YES happened to be my birthday again…July 23rd …we got a call. I was driving to town to get my groceries, so I pulled over and answered my cell. The woman on the other end said we have a baby girl here for you in Fredericton, can you come get her tomorrow? Um did I just hear you right? You have a what????? Tomorrow???? YES YES YES!!!! I called Kirk at work, then I had to call her back to confirm that YES we could get her!!! Can you believe it??? 12 ½ years after putting our name in with the province of N.B. we get a newborn…a baby girl…she is 10 days old!

We immediately drove back and told everyone! Our son was so excited too…finally he would have a sister! He was 11, but that didn’t matter, he wanted a sister for so long!

We stayed up late getting stuff together because we had sold a lot of things thinking it would never happen. We also had to come up with a name for her. I can remember trying to explain to Kirk how I didn’t deserve her, because of how angry I was with God for so long, yet He chose to bless us! Wow! It seemed too good to be true! Happy Birthday!!!

The next day we got up early and headed to Fredericton to get her. She was the sweetest little thing…so perfect in every way. Once papers were signed we were on our way. This adoption was so different…in many ways. We never got to meet the birth mom at all. But every day I am thankful to God for my children!

I could never see the other side of the story…how could they give up their babies? But after our son was born, I knew…they loved them so much…they wanted the best for them…that they could not give at that time. I thank God for these 2 wonderful gifts! God only wants the best for us. If we had gone ahead and done everything medically possible to get pregnant…we would have missed out on these 2 blessings! Our children are now 15 and 4, and I wonder what God has next for us!!!


Stay tuned…I have one more adoption story coming up within the next few days.


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I put out a request last month asking for people to write to me and send me their adoption story.  I don’t know about you but I love hearing other people’s stories of how they adopted their child(ren).

I asked my best friend, Kim, to share with us her adoption story and she graciously agreed to.  She has two adoption stories.  I’ll share the first one with you tonight and the second on Thursday…so make sure you come back and check it out!

Here’s Kim & Kirk’s story:

My husband and I were married in October of 1991. We decided to start trying to have children in 1993. And in the Spring of 1995, we found out that short of a miracle it would never happen for us. We were devastated! The whole time I was growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a Mommy. Whenever I was asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” That was my answer. So what was God doing here? He surely knew I wanted to be a Mommy! We know He doesn’t make mistakes, so we just had to wait on Him.

We decided to put our name on the provincial adoption list knowing it could take up to 10 years. But God had a different plan for us in the meantime! In the late Spring of 1996, we got a phone call. My friend was calling to tell me that a friend, whom we both knew, was pregnant, and wanted to know if we would be willing to adopt the baby.  Our answer was a definite YES!!! But she was way across the country in British Columbia, and we were here in New Brunswick. Could this even work? Could God work this out?

We checked into everything…the laws, private adoption, EVERYTHING! And it looked like we could go to B.C. when he was born and bring him home here to N.B. with us. But there were some complications.

When she went in for a routine ultrasound, she found out she had ovarian cancer. Were it not for her pregnancy, she may not have found out as early as she did. But this also got her thinking she may want to keep the baby. We just prayed…and hoped!

On my birthday, July 23rd, 1996, we got a call from her saying that she had made up her mind…the baby was ours…a baby boy! What a birthday gift! He was due on November 4th. So we got busy, getting ready for our new little one.

My friend immediately started treatment for her cancer, so she was quite sick most of the pregnancy. But we kept praying for her and the life of our unborn son.

September 11th we got a call late in the evening, as the time difference is 4 hours, to tell us that our son had been born 8 weeks early due to complications. We were scared to death. It was too late to call anyone, so we just prayed. The next morning I hopped on a plane to take me to B.C., for an unknown amount of time. We did not know if he would live or die. 8 weeks is very early.

When I got there, he was already almost 2 days old. He was 4 lbs 7 oz when he was born, but had gone down to 4 lbs 3 oz by the time I got there. He was the most adorable little boy I had ever seen. He had dark hair, and was so tiny! He could not breathe on his own, nor could he eat. So he had a respirator and IV hooked up to him. His incubator was an open one, so you could touch him if you could find a spot without tubes to touch! I was very scared.

I also went to visit my friend, who was going to get stronger treatment now that the baby was born, and she was doing better. She was so glad that I came so the baby would not be alone! She gave the most precious gift anyone could ever give! I can never repay her.

After a week or so, he had improved enough to be in a regular incubator without the respirator or IV, he now had a feeding tube down to his tummy to feed him. And I could hold him more now too! :o)

He was in the hospital a total of 3 weeks. When we left the hospital he weighed a whopping 5 lbs. The very next day we flew together back across the country to N.B. Daddy was so excited to meet his son!  We got back on October 3rd.

And you know what? That is not all…turns out the laws were changing…God had it all worked out after all. November 1st the laws changed in B.C. saying that we would NOT have been able to go get him, he would have had to come to us with his birth mom. YUP! God had it all worked out ahead of time! Had he been born “on time” then things would have turned out totally different!


Hope you enjoyed!  Tune in on Thursday and catch the second part of Kim & Kirk’s story!


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Lately I have been doing book reviews on older fiction books but thought for the month of November wouldn’t it be nice if I did a book review on Adoption.

A few months ago I was going through Amazon (my favourite website in the whole wide web) and decided to put in “adoption” in the search bar.  I came across this cute looking book and decided to read more on it.

As soon as I finished reading up on it I knew that I just had to order it…so I went to my local book store (Coles) and had it ordered into their store (it was cheaper to do that than order it off of Amazon this time).

Once it came I couldn’t wait to sit down and read it with Little E.  Let me just tell you…it is the cutest story ever.

It starts off with Barley and his Mama cuddling in their favourite chair and Barley asks his Mama to tell him about how he was “her wish come true”.  So  she began to tell him.  Barley continues to ask more questions and his Mama answers them with ease telling how she had an empty place in her heart that she just longed to fill and how the mommy that grew him in her tummy helped her make her wish come true.

This book also  talks about how it’s ok if adopted children and their family don’t look alike because “what makes a family is their love for each other”

One of my favourite parts in the whole book is when Mama bear looks at Barley and says “Of all the children in the whole wide world, God picked YOU for ME”.

This is a cute story…maybe a bit too lengthy for a three year old…but definitely one to keep on hand for when your child gets a little bit older.  The illustrations are cute and I believe the author does a wonderful job of helping to explain adoption in a sense that is non scary and beautiful all at the same time.

If you have a child that is adopted in your household…or know of somebody that has adopted a child…this book is a must have.

Definitely a 5 out of 5 lollipop kind of book!

I was not compensated for this book…it was just a book I picked up and decided to share with all of you.


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30 Children.

I came across this article today in the Cape Breton post and thought that it was interesting.   The other day I talked about how there was a large number of children waiting in Canada to be adopted from foster care.  I knew that adoption here in Cape Breton was a need, but didn’t realize that the numbers were this high (although…it’s sad to say..it doesn’t really surprise me).


I find this more and more an area of interest to me.  I’m praying that God will direct hubby and I  in the right direction for the future.  Please continue to pray for us….we desperately would love to have a sibling for Little E.


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Did you know???

I’ve kinda been slacking a bit on the adoption plug for this month on the blog….but it’s not because I forgot….just simply trying to get some information together.

I was checking out some websites earlier and came across a staggering statistic:

“Latest figures from the Adoption Council of Canada (ACC) say that child welfare organizations care for nearly 80,000 Canadian children. Of these, about 30,000 are legally free for adoption, but languish in temporary foster homes. The majority are aged 6 and older.” Taken from: http://www.familyhelper.net/news/100805-30,000incare.html   This was for 2010.

Don’t you think that’s crazy????  I mean as in a sad crazy way!  😦  There really shouldn’t be that many children in our foster care system when people like me and hubby want to adopt.  But there is…and you know why?  In my humble opinion I believe it’s because more and more couples want to adopt a baby.   They say that they don’t want the emotional, physical or mental problems that come with children out of foster care.

I know…cause I’m one of them.  We have Little E so I keep telling myself that if we adopt again we need to be very careful of all the above things.  I don’t want to damage him or have problems come into this house that may be too big to handle.  Which….are really legitimate concerns….but the problems lies when I don’t do my research or I don’t call the number and even attempt at finding out more information.

Cause here’s the thing:  Just because a child is in foster care does NOT mean that they will have all the above problems.  They may be in for a totally different reason…and let’s just face it:  Every child needs love.  They really really do.  So…what’s holding me back from making that call?

This reason…and this reason alone:  I still want to be pregnant.

I don’t think that’s an unreasonable expectation.  There is nothing saying that I can’t get pregnant…it just hasn’t happened yet.  In fact, I have finally started up the specialist appointments again and will be going for my first one in Nova Scotia next Thursday on the 17th…hoping that this doctor can do something that other’s couldn’t.

BUT!  In the meantime..I’m going to bring up this subject of adopting a child in foster care again with hubby.  We talked about it at one point but thought we had better try for the pregnancy first.  However, time is getting short…and I would love for Little E to have a brother or a sister…whether older or younger.

If you are thinking about adopting…please just check out that site above and this site as well:  http://www.adoption.ca/AboutAdoption.html

If you decide that maybe adopting from foster care is your option…then call the number and at least get the information packet.

Let’s give some of these children back the love that they deserve.


Totally unrelated blessing:   I got my floors cleaned today!!!!

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November is a very special month to a lot of us, not just because it has Remembrance  Day in there…but because it’s


That’s right!  It’s a month set aside to focus on adoption.  According to this website:  http://adoption.about.com/od/adopting/a/allaboutnam.htm  national adoption month changes it’s focus every year.  This year’s focus is on foster kids and learning about the advantages of adopting them.  I think that this may be more for the United States…but I have chosen to take this month (or at least most of it) and focus on adoption and the benefits of it as well.

Basically for two reasons:

1)  Little E was adopted…and he’s the best thing that has ever happened to us as a family.

and 2)  A lot of my friends have adopted.

It seems that more and more people are having a hard time conceiving children of their own and often times those couples feel like a void in their life never gets filled.

I think that if we educate people more on the benefits of adoption, and maybe put some of their fears at bay then perhaps some of those couples will be able to have a child welcomed into their home through the adoption process.

Adoption is a scary word for a lot of people.  Some people just don’t think that they can do it and I respect that…but I don’t think that adoption has to be a bad word in our lives.

My plan throughout the next month is to have some guest bloggers on here sharing their adoption stories.  I would also love to have some birth mothers/fathers who gave their child up for adoption share as well.  And hey!  Even if you were adopted I would love to hear your story.

BUT PLEASE:  If you want to share your story: please send me an email at hegivesgrace@gmail.com with the story.  Please do not leave it in the comment section.

I also hope to share some other cool things on adoptions:  books to read, children’s books to read, videos, etc.

So please stay tuned…open your hearts and minds and maybe we can learn some new things about adoption together!

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Some of you may not be aware of it but November is NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH.

It’s a time to raise awareness on adoption.

Adoption is a cause I firmly believe in…for obvious reasons.  🙂

So..in order for ME to raise awareness on adoption I would like YOUR help!  (PLEASE)

If you are an adoptive parents or a biological parent that has given your child up for adoption I would love love love it if you shared your story on my blog as a guest post.

HOW?  Well..it’s easy.  All you do is comment and let me know you are interested…or you can email me at hegivesgrace@gmail.com .  Once I hear from you I will be in contact with you and get you to share your story with me.

Then I will post it on my blog as a guest post.

PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR STORY.   I would really like to make it a guest post so that everybody can read it…and that way we can raise more awareness.

I’m probably going to repost this post a few times so we can make sure we get a few people to help out.

So if you are interested please please let me know.

I’m also asking biological  parents to share their story as well.  It’s always nice to hear from the other side of the coin as well.

Let’s raise awareness for adoption….it’s much better than the alternative (abortion)

Thanks so much!


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A longing.

Sometimes I long for things.  Well..ok let’s get real…pretty much everybody longs for things.

Peace, joy, happiness, material things, etc.

Today, as I was watching little E play by himself I longed for a little brother or sister for him.  We had gone for a walk earlier in the afternoon then followed by some Youtube videos of the movie Cars.  After that we went out on the deck and blew bubbles and played for a bit. However, as I saw him sitting and playing by himself I longed for a little sibling for him.  I wasn’t upset that he was playing by himself but rather I was thinking..how much fun would it be if he had somebody around all the time to play with.

I babysit all week, so there are no shortage of kids for him to play with..but there is something different about somebody who comes from 8-5 than somebody who is here all the time.  Somebody who is your confidant,  your best friend, somebody who you get to do all kinds of cool things with all the time.

I long for that for little E.  I’m also prepared that that may never come.  I trust God’s perfect timing in this.  If I didn’t, and I rushed things and did things on my own we probably wouldn’t have little E and I can’t imagine my life without him.  In fact, I won’t even try to remember what it was like before.  This life is so much better!

My question lingers in my mind though.  Will God provide a sibling for him?  He keeps saying he wants a little sister.  All I can do is trust in God.  Trust him to provide me with my needs not my wants.  Trust him in His timing and His plans for me.

I went to my doctor last month and asked for a referral to a specialist down here…hopefully to get the ball moving again.  We had one in New Brunswick but didn’t go back after we found out about Little E and the adoption.

I’ve put off going back to the specialist for a year now.  I kept saying that I would do it and never did. Kept using the excuse that I couldn’t take time off of work..which wasn’t true at all.  I don’t know why I did…I just did.  I want to feel what it’s like to have a baby inside of me…growing.  I want that..I really do.  So I made an appointment…and now I’m just waiting for the call.

Waiting.  The story of my life.  I’m always waiting.  You know what?  I think God does it on purpose to me lol.  I’m not a patient person and He knows that.  He’s teaching me a lesson.  I thought I learned it over the past 7 years. (Almost 10 if you count the years of marriage..but we won’t go there lol)…but apparently I’m still learning it.  Apparently I need to relearn this lesson over and over again…and I’m ok with that..as long as there are results.  Should I be ok with it even if there aren’t results?  Probably so.

So…here I wait.  Waiting for a telephone call.  Waiting for an appointment.  Waiting for answers…hopefully good answers..and if no answers come then hopefully a different door will open up.

Some people have asked me if I would do adoption again.  The answer is “yes..oh yes”…but I think I have to give this path my all for right now and see where it leads me.

Hopefully the end trail with end up with another sibling for little E.

I’m trusting.

Blessing:  Little E.  At least I have one child..and I’m happy with only having one if that’s what God’s plan is for me.

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