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Posts Tagged ‘challenges for myself’

Respect.

A tiny word that is so powerful, is demanding, and is maybe even an attention seeker.

As a child I was told to respect others.  I was not to interrupt somebody when they were speaking as it was impolite.  I was to raise my hand in school when I needed something or knew an answer and I was to call my teachers by Mrs. or Mr. and then their last name.  Same as my Pastor.  He was either “pastor” or “Pastor Hayden”…even though his daughter and I were great friends.

However, I have grown up…and along the way have come some “bumps” in my road of life.  My parents divorced in my last year of college, right before hubby and I got married and I watched some things crumble as a result.  I lost respect along the way…a lot of it.  I had the mindset that “I will do things for myself and not rely on anybody else to do things for me.  I will fight for things my way.  I will not let anybody get in the way of me doing the things that I want to do.”  Now, mind you…I was a pretty strong willed kid growing up.  Strong willed and stubborn…so I can’t blame all this on my parent’s divorce.  However, maybe this is when I started to kick it up a notch.

Along the way in my eleven years of marriage I have not had the best respect for my hubby.  Oh it’s definitely better than it used to be…but it’s still not where I want it to be..or even where it should be.  I like to control what I can control and then get stressed out about what I can’t control.

**If you know me and are nodding your head at this…please just let me finish.  This is hard for me to admit in a public setting even though you may already know it**

Lately, I have been reading “Joyce Meyer’s book: Love out Loud.  (A devotional book)

It’s a good book….teaching me not only to love God, but to love others and even myself!  The last little bit has been about loving others and how we can’t control people.  We also need to forgive others, encourage others, and basically respect others.  Bam, Bam, Bam!  Things that I needed to hear right in a row.  So…I listened.  I’m trying harder and I think it’s working a bit.

I’m trying to be less controling on Little E and in the process I believe our relationship is growing a little bit better.  Oh we don’t have a bad relationship, don’t get me wrong.  We love each other unconditionally…but I’m trying to show him that I respect him and that sometimes it’s ok to make mistakes.  My child is high strung…he just wants my attention all the time.  I am not like this.  You could put me in a little room with a bed, a book, my computer for a day and I would be pretty content to be myself.  I used to play board games by myself…and play it so it was competitive.  (Yes…haha I know what you’re thinking).  I enjoy that time by myself but God didn’t intend for us to be by ourselves all the time.  That’s not the way He designed us.  He designed us to have relationships…to interact with others.  To respect others, to let others be who they are without controlling them.  To respect others…and in turn be respected.

So I’m trying this.  It used to be that I enjoyed Monday and Thursdays immensely because Little E went to preschool.  Don’t get me wrong..I still enjoy those days….but I also enjoy Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Friday’s now.  I am not constantly looking for when Monday or Thursday is coming and praying that Tuesday and Wednesday will go by quickly.  Today I sat down with my boy, played with him, talked to him and treated him like a person instead of something I had to get through my day.  I enjoyed the day today and at supper time I sat up and said “wow that day went by fast and I had a lot of fun!”.  I respected him, and in turn he respected me.  He didn’t need me all the time and he was the best behaved kid out of the bunch today!

I’m trying this with my husband as well.   I’m trying not to be an introvert and be selfish and just have time to myself.  Last night I sat beside him and watched tv…instead of in my chair while he sat on the couch.  I’m trying to listen more…to respect more and be more sympathetic.  I’m sure it will take time….but I’d rather it take time than have regrets later on in my life that I didn’t do it at all.

I know I have a long road ahead of me..but I know that with God’s help I can do this.  It’s not going to be easy at times…so please be patient.  I’m still a work in progress.

Laura

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So Saturday night I was waiting for something on my computer to finish…ok i’m not going to lie.  I was waiting for my Atomic Wings on Cafe world to finish cooking so I could go to bed.  :)  I then decided that maybe a little bit of Pinterest would be a good thing.  Yes..I decided this at 11:15 PM when I still had to finish my lesson for kids church in the morning.

So…on to Pinterest I go. And I came upon this really cool idea called 40 bags in 40 days.  You can find the original post here: Little Lucy Lu . Basically she’s talking about going through various places in her house and cleaning them out.  A bag per day.  Check out her list it’s pretty cool.  Her first day is junk drawer in laundry room.  So she’ll go through that…clean out stuff she doesn’t need or no longer uses, put it in a bag to either throw away or give away.

Soooo starting on Monday I’m going to revisit this challenge and start it for myself.  I’ll show you my list before then and I’m going to stick through it and get some of this unwanted junk out of my house!!  I feel free just even thinking about it!

Who’s with me?????  Come on you know you wanna…just step out and do it…create a list and take a picture of each bag with the day written on it somewhere.  Just write on the comment for the day on my blog (no matter what the post) this: “I did it” and then send me your pictures each day to luvmyadopted1@gmail.com  At the end of the challenge I’ll post them!  I wanna see what we can get rid of.  If you miss a day don’t give up, just get right back on there and stuff those bags.  :)

I’ll be back before Monday with my list!

Laura

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One of my first blog posts on here was talking about how I had read The Happiness Project By Gretchin Rubin.  I talked about how my goal was to laugh more and to be happy more.  See the blog post here:  http://mylittleblessedlife.wordpress.com/?s=happiness+project

Haha funny I now realize that was just over a year ago.  Jan 20th of last year.

It’s not funny though that I have failed this goal miserably.  UGH!!

I don’t know why…but I think in general I’m not a happy person….well wait…maybe I am…but maybe I just have a hard time showing it.  Lots of times I let stress overcrowd  all other emotions until there just doesn’t seem to much room for any happy left in my day.

FYI, I hate being like this.  I find myself breaking my promises to Little E, snapping when I really shouldn’t and sometimes just talking in an angry way.  Yes,  I know we all have our days but mine seems to be more  than just one day a week….try like four or five.

So, like I said..I have failed miserably in the laugh more section.

I want to change that though!  I want to be more fun, be  more happy, be less in control and less stressed in my life.  Do I think I can do it?  Yes, I definitely do.

How?

Well, that’s a hard question to answer.  I think one of the first steps is to have regular, longer quiet time with God each day. Something to calm my heart and to prepare me for my day ahead or to calm me after my day.

Another thing is to not let things stress me as much.  I know that this won’t be easy AT ALL, but I can definitely work at it.  If you see me stressing…tell me to laugh instead.  I may look like I’m about to hit you…but don’t be scared I really won’t. (hopefully)

One more thing is to step back from those times when I’m not being happy and to look at them as an outsider and see how I may be hurting those around me.

The biggest thing though?  To remember my Little E when he says “Mommy, be happy!”

Yeah…that’s a big punch in the gut, but it’s true.   I don’t want my child remembering his mommy as not being fun or not being happy or just being angry all the time.  I don’t want him to remember me as somebody who was annoyed over ever single thing or just couldn’t relax enough to play with him.

So, that being said…THIS challenge for myself is my big challenge for the year.  My New Year’s resolution of sorts.  I want to be happy more.  I WILL be happy more.  I will enjoy the relationships around me more instead of trying to be in control of them.  I won’t stress the small stuff, and I’ll walk with hand in hand with my husband along the way.

My goal?  My goal is obviously to be happier…but another goal is to fall in love more with my family and to the best friend, relative, and person to those around me.

Laura

Blessing:  I’m having chinese food with hubby tonight!!!

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